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THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER CLASSIC VERSION

 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

 

 

 

 

THE "POLITICALLY CORRECT" VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

 

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. NBC, CBS, CNN, MS-NBC, and ABC send crew to show the shivering, starving grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

 

America and the world is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

 

Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of American Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green bias", and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green. "The Reverend Jesse "I've never had a real job" Jackson and The Reverend Al "Tawana Brawley Hoax" Sharpten make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell a concerned Katie Couric that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited from the inequities of the Bush years.

 

Nancy Pelosi exclaims in an interview with Bill Maher that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

 

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act". Retroactive to the beginning of the summer, the ant was fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs to benefit from his industry and share in his ill-earned prosperity. His house is confiscated by the government.

 

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid standing before a wildly applauding group of compatriots announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.

 

(AUTHOR UNKNOWN)

 

A little something about America

 

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